I had this amazing conversation with a
man named Neil, and we got talking about the limitations we have as
M.E sufferers. We were both of the vane that you should rest and
sleep as much as possible, you shouldn't do more than 10% on a good
day than you would on a bad day, but then I saw this...
'It is hard to fail, but it is worse
never to have tried to suceed'...
Those are some mighty powerful
words... and it got me thinking. Yes as M.E sufferers we need to rest
and sleep (when possible that is), someway to deal with the pain and we need to find a balance, but
as a relatively -compared to Neil that is- new sufferer, I have yet
to fully accept this boundary 'issue'.... or maybe its just my age?
Neil mentioned that the second time he
relapsed he felt better because he knew his limitations, and I wonder
if we have to get to that point, we have to do a little extra each
day to find our 'balance' and then relapse to find it?
It is hard to fail and relapsing is
seen as failure by so many of us, if not all. It in some way says to
us and those around us that we've done something wrong, we've been
careless or not taken this seriously enough. But what about being too
scared to find your balance and never knowing that if you had pushed
yourself that little bit, taken your fail- but found your balance-
maybe you would have found things a little easier and done more?
But then again, i'm not a seasoned pro
yet like Neil... But we all need to do something similar or else
we're just taking our diagnosis and accepting it.... if by accepting
my diagnosis it means that I have to stay in this blinking bed for
longer than I absolutely have to then sod that right off!! I will
push myself a little each day (AFTER GRADUATION THAT IS) and see what
I can do... I might even keep a tally. But thats what I intend to do,
because if I do anything less then I am accepting my fate and just
giving up, I would much rather fail, but know my limits than sit back
and let the world pass me by when I could have had even a small part
of it....
I'd hate to think back and realise
that I could have done more with my life than I did and live the rest
of my life in regret. I want to be at peace with all my decisions and
so far so good, so again, if that means I have to fail to know my
boundaries then I think..... hopes her mother isn't reading....
thats what i'm going to do, push myself until I hit that wall with a
concussion, then lay down for a month and build myself up to that
level and try and maintain it, yes i'll have mini failures and falls
along the way, I know its not going to be an easy life and things
dont necessarily go straight forward, but who would want to live with
a regret like that on their mind?
Definitely not me, as I have said and
prove everyday I get up and wake up, I am a FIGHTER!
Right onto the thanks for the day...
Thank You to my home towns Facebook Page the 'Drayton Crier', they
publicised my blog and I have got a MEGA reaction! Debbie, a lovely
lady who read my posts who also has M.E. took up the gumption to make
a hometown M.E/CFS and Fibro group and we were ASTOUNDED by the
amount of people who had ME/CFS in our small town, it spread through
fb and word of mouth and now we have a decent amount of sufferers
('US'), Partners, Carers and just people wanting to learn more who
had read my blog, so WELL DONE MY HOME TOWN!! You have shown your
propensity to grow and accept people!! I congratulate you!!
